The Unknown

Those who know me, know that I get anxious when people are sick. I even get anxious at the thought of getting sick myself. So, when all of the news starting coming out about the virus a couple of months ago, I found my anxiety spiking. This is my worst nightmare. An unknown virus, that I am not immune to, that is highly contagious.

I started obsessing over the news. Constantly updating the world meter and map of where the virus was, untrusting of anybody. (A little over the top, I know. But to me, I was being proactive and protecting myself.) I was practicing social distancing before the government came out and suggested it. I was afraid.

I was worried for family and friends, as some work in the nursing homes as physical therapists, dealing with people everyday. I was worried for my grandparents, who are in their eighties. I was worried for my sister and fiance, who both work in businesses that aid the healthcare field, thus deeming them as “essential employees”.

What consumed a lot of my thoughts was my wedding. Slowly everything got cancelled. The bachelorette party, the honeymoon, the bridal shower…..

As the days progressed, and North Carolina was placed under a stay at home order, the thought of having the wedding in May is no longer likely. I was faced with a decision, and thus the wedding was postponed until July.

Is it hard knowing that I will have to wait an additional two months for something that I have been planning for over a year? Heck yes! But, there are two things that I have learned from this virus:

1. my problems are small potatoes compared to what some other people are dealing with
2. everything will work out

This virus has put a lot of things into perspective. Yes, I am sad about my own plans being cancelled. But, it’s a wedding that can wait. My cousin is pregnant and her baby shower is cancelled, that is something that can’t be indefinitely postponed. My mother’s retirement party was cancelled – something that only happens once- and that cannot be indefinitely postponed either, as she is set to retire by May 1.

Additionally, I found that my bridal store is closed for a month at least. So, a wedding in May was even more unlikely because there was a chance that my dress wouldn’t have been ready. July is warmer, but it is *hopefully* far enough out that everything will somewhat die down. It turns out the July date might be better after all.

Basically- this virus has taught me that I spend entirely too much time worrying about things that are out of my control. Ultimately, everything will work out how it’s meant to in the end- it always does.

The Unknown – A Haiku

Fear of the unknown

It takes so much energy

It will all work out

Small Potatoes- A Photoku

Spent a lot of time

On what has now been postponed

See you in July